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Diagnosed with depression. Suggest ways to control anger and anxiety?

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Practicing since : 2003
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What are some good ways to control anger and anxiety? I was diagnosed with depression.
Hi Doctor, I am intelligent and educated person but I have hard times to control my emotions. I was a nervous and inpatient kid, my parents never lived friendly together, and my mother has been highly irritable and could easily get angry and out of control all her life that I know her. Since I was 13 I worked hard on self-education and improvement so that I am not like my mother. I have learned a lot about psychology and I believe have made big archived in changing my behavior and thought to more positive and control way. However, I do have a problem. I've been living with my male partner and I've been blaming him for how I felt sometimes, but now I realize that am too irritable, get easily angry, often anxious, my anger gets out of control so that I don't thinking rational in those moments. Later I regret about the way I reacted or talked to my partner. He loved me very much and stands this all, but he blames himself that he can't make me happy and blames me that I can't control myself. I recently had an emergency because of my nerves breakdown (as I thought) after one of our unpleasant talks with my partner. The doctor told I have depression because of frictions in my relationship and prescribed me sitalopram. I'm taking this medication but I think that I should change something in my thinking or attitudes. I always thought I could cope with my emotions myself, educate myself, learn knew ways of behavior and thinking. Please, help me what else I can do except for taking medication to get rid of my anxieties, frustration and get better control of my anger? What can my partner do to help me and himself so that he does not feel guilty? I am afraid to have kids if I am emotionally unstable so that they won't become victims as I have become because of my parents and mother.. although my partner and I dream about having family together. Thank you
Posted Tue, 2 Jul 2013 in Mental Health
Answered by Dr. Nehal Shah 1 hour later
Thanks for using healthcare magic.

I have gone through your history.

It seems that you are having depression because of of which you have pooe control over your emotions. You might have some personality traits also.

Citalopram is very good antidepressant drug that should reduce your depression.

In addition to that, you should consult psychotherapist or counselor for psychotherapy like cognitive behavior therapy.

You can also do stress management. In that, you need to identify your faulty behavior, generate alternatives, challange with positive behavior and do repetation with positive one so as to make habit of that. Although it is time consuming, it helps a lot in controlling stress and depression.

To control anger, you should do anger management which is simmilar to stress management. I have seen some patients improving with practical ways which may not have theoritical base nut it helps a lot in individual. They are
- Remove yourself from the place of anger,
- Revert counting from one number say for e.g 30, 29,28 in a reverse order.

You may also do yoga, meditation and self relaxation like breathing exercise.

Your partner can empathtically listen you , support you while you have anger outburst, good communication between both of you shoulld help.

I hope I have addressed your concern.

Feel free to revert to me in case if you have additional query.

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