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Can't Get Over Wife's Past. How To Get Out Of This Problem?

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Posted on Tue, 3 Dec 2013
Question: hi,i need help my wife told me about his boyfriend in university time 11years ago and now i am disturb,when she was telling me i was listening normally but when she saw my face she said that we only kiss 2 or 3 times and in two years relation is it possible that they did not have sex now she said they did not now i am going mad and can not handle
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Answered by Dr. Vivek Chail (1 hour later)
Brief Answer: Consult psychologist if necessary Detailed Answer: Hi, Thanks for writing in to us. I have read through query in detail. You are having difficulty in accepting the fact that your wife had a boyfriend 11 years back and that she kissed him 2-3 times. I would suggest you to respect her words and accept what she has disclosed to you as truth. The fact that she has told you about her boyfriend means that she trusts you a lot. You must not try to think too much and once your wife has said that she was not in any kind of sexual relationship then I guess she wasn't. There is no point in getting mad over something that happened 11 years ago and it should not affect your marriage. You can have a friendly discussion with your wife respecting her sentiments and without getting angry. If you are still having difficulty taking it out of your mind, I suggest you consult a psychologist and also take her along so that you have a healthy discussion and clear your mind. Hope your query is answered. Do write back if you have any doubts. Regards, Dr.Vivek
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Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Chakravarthy Mazumdar
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Dr. Vivek Chail

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Practicing since :2002

Answered : 6874 Questions

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Can't Get Over Wife's Past. How To Get Out Of This Problem?

Brief Answer: Consult psychologist if necessary Detailed Answer: Hi, Thanks for writing in to us. I have read through query in detail. You are having difficulty in accepting the fact that your wife had a boyfriend 11 years back and that she kissed him 2-3 times. I would suggest you to respect her words and accept what she has disclosed to you as truth. The fact that she has told you about her boyfriend means that she trusts you a lot. You must not try to think too much and once your wife has said that she was not in any kind of sexual relationship then I guess she wasn't. There is no point in getting mad over something that happened 11 years ago and it should not affect your marriage. You can have a friendly discussion with your wife respecting her sentiments and without getting angry. If you are still having difficulty taking it out of your mind, I suggest you consult a psychologist and also take her along so that you have a healthy discussion and clear your mind. Hope your query is answered. Do write back if you have any doubts. Regards, Dr.Vivek