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Unable to sleep due to stress and tension in personal life. Guide - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 11-Jun-2013
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Mental Health
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2005
Answered : 2408 Questions
Doctor:Dr XXXXXXX here
Doctor:How can I help you?
User:good afternoon doctor
Doctor:Good afternoon.
User:actually this is not exactly a medical problem that i want to ask
Doctor:Proceed with your query.
User:but its related to a kind of counselling for my sister
User:can i still ask
User:i mean are you ok to advice
Doctor:Counselling is best done with one on one talk with the patient.
User:i do agree
User:but u know i am her all in all
User:and she has asked me to let her know
User:i dont know where to go or whom to ask
Doctor:I would only be give you guidance which is not equivalent to proper counselling.
Doctor:Any way, please proceed.
User:may be that may help
User:see she is the second wife for a person
User:i mean she got married recently to her colleague
User:he married bcoz accidently they fell in love bcoz of her divorce problem
User:and got married secretly without his wife knowing the issue
User:he is ready to tell her incase she comes to know
User:but the problem now is my sister though she likes him a lot is not able to compromise on the mistake that she has accepted him
User:and does not want to have any kind of physical relationship with him
User:now this is created an hassle between both
User:and i am the stuck inbetween them
User:how do i advice or what do i do
User:sorry i know its a complicated issue
User:but i am also confused
Doctor:I understand the seriousness of the issue here; however whether or not she chooses to live with this person would be a personal choice.
User:his wife is in one home town
User:and he is here
Doctor:It would be extremely hard to suggest based on statistics or reports / reviews of other person who had similar circumstances.
User:sis says him to continue his physical contact with is first but does not want him to have with her
User:but he is insisting that he is only doing is duty and commitment to his first but loves my sis
Doctor:Looking at the problem from a third person, it would be extremely difficult to understand the love your sister and this person has.
User:doc let me ask u open question
Doctor:If your sister doesn't trust or love him any more, it would be wise not to continue this relation any more.
Doctor:Please proceed with your questions.
User:my sis says however this man sleeps with his wife as a commitment and duty still at that end climax he will enjoy that feel and this makes my sister a kind of dirty feeling
User:she believes that if a man loves my sis he should sleep only with her and not with his first wife
User:else leave my sis and go
User:though my sis loves him a lot but feels she can take the pain of separation than this act
Doctor:I would not be able to prove your sister's belief is right or wrong.
Doctor:But I do believe your sister has certain believes and righteousness.
User:oh god this man also does not understand nor let go of my sister
User:he is ready to kill himself incase my sister ignores him
Doctor:On medical grounds, as your sister's partner has a different approach towards life, this may cause frictions between them.
Doctor:The same stress can cause ill health effects.
User:she is not able to sleep
User:does not allow me to sleep
User:i am a sandwich betweenm the
User:both of them
Doctor:If your sister has no further interest with this person, you may ask her to break all relations and contact with him.
User:she is in love with him madly
User:all she says is she does not want any kind of physical contact with him if he goes to his wife
Doctor:As far as I understand love with a person only exist as long as there is no friction between the partners.
Doctor:That being said, as a third person I would not be able to question her love towards him.
User:doctor tell me as a human pyschology or scientific study
Doctor:However it would be wise to take a decision looking into other parameters such as
Doctor:1. Is the current love towards him worth it?
User:will not a man enjoy the sex life with his wife though he claims to do it juz as commitment
User:yes worth
User:bcoz he is genuine in his love
User:that i can assure
User:doctor call me if u can
Doctor:Can you confirm your phone number?
User:may be i will be able to explain his background life history
User:thanks for ur time. Bye
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