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Mental stress due to work and marriage - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Average Posted in: Mental Health
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2008
Answered : 3545 Questions
Doctor :   hi
User :   Hello Doctor
Doctor :  
how can i help you
User :   Actually i m not happy
User :   i don know what i want from my life
Doctor :  
ok
User :   i start doin a work
User :   n in the half way i realised y m i doin dis work
Doctor :   ok

Doctor :  
Before proceeding kindly provide the above details
Doctor :   like age, gender, occupation, marital status
User :   age 28 yrs
Doctor :   ok
User :   by profession i m a lawyer
User :   but don go to court
User :   desk job
User :   female
User :   n i am single
Doctor :  
what kind of work you do?
User :   actually my work is realted to filing
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :  
are you happy with this job?
User :   preparing responses for objection letters
User :   n repoting to client
User :   no i m not happy wid dis work
Doctor :   ok

Doctor :  
are you finding this job interesting?
User :   its easy going
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :  
does it involve lot of stress and tension?
User :   but being a LLM n dat too specialized in a field
User :   my LLM is not used up here
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :  
if you are happy with your job and if the job is not interesting
Doctor :  
it is better to change the job
Doctor :  
Job usually should be interesting and you should learn a lot from that
Doctor :  
and since you have a degree i donot think it will be problem in getting the job
User :   n people around me show me dat i m doing low grade work
Doctor :  
You should not bother about the people saying
User :   i am over burdened all the time n not getting recogniztion for that work
User :   ya i know
Doctor :  
the people say if you are in higher post also
User :   but it bothers me
User :   actually
User :   before this i used to be in topper students all the time
Doctor :   But if you are not personally happy with the job or if you feel nobody is recognizing your work you need to talk to your seniors regarding this
User :   he also knows
Doctor :   ok
User :   but oder work is technical
Doctor :  
since how many years you are into this job?
User :   dat i wont b able to do
User :   more than 2 yrs
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :  
since when you are feeling this?
User :   from the day i joined this
User :   my head din give me any work
User :   one senior misbehaved with me
Doctor :  
ok
User :   after 9 months dese people were firing me
User :   i talked to HR
Doctor :  
ok
User :   discussed my prob
Doctor :  
ok
User :   he decided to retain me
Doctor :  
ok
User :   after that my head started giving me work
User :   till november i was doing dat work
User :   then in november he gave me a new work
Doctor :  
ok
User :   i did that
User :   over time
Doctor :  
ok
User :   on sats n suns also
User :   after that i got chicken pox
Doctor :  
ok
User :   i went home for 15 days
User :   after that i started feeling like this
Doctor :  
ok
User :   i was learning
User :   but now i feel dis work is geetin routine work
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :  
there aill be some kind of depression after chicken pox or any viral disease
Doctor :  
this is making you to think like that
Doctor :  
i will tell you one thing there is no place anywhere you will have a perfect working environment
User :   i know
Doctor :   So you need to get adjusted and learn how to face problem
User :   hmm k
Doctor :  
but if the work itself is not interesting better you change the job
User :   i m trying
Doctor :  
and search the job of your interest
User :   sometimes i feel i should not work
User :   sometimes i feel i should work
Doctor :  
till that time you better in this place because it is quite risky to leave the job looking at the present recetion
Doctor :  
sorry recession
Doctor :  
so work till you get a new job and jump once you get a good job
User :   i m very much confused bout my personal as well as professional front
User :   i don no whether i want to work or not
Doctor :  
instead leaving early getting trapped in other headache
User :   i like 1 boy
Doctor :   or your work is causing lot of mental stress to you you can leave the job

User :   my parents r not ready for him
Doctor :  
but staying at home with out job also will be very depressing
Doctor :  
so you need to think all prose and conse and take the decisison
User :   ya
User :   i cant leave dis job
Doctor :  
What is the boy doing?
User :   s/w eng
User :   my parents hv decided a boy for me
Doctor :  
then there will not be much problem i think to convince your parents
User :   dey r forcing me to get married to him
User :   dey r not ready
User :   coz of financial status
User :   my dad went to his family
Doctor :   ok
User :   he din like his home, family,
Doctor :  
ok
User :   n boys looks also
User :   actually i m taller than this boy
Doctor :  
Parents decide the groom for you seeing all the consequences
User :   n looks also
Doctor :   like
User :   features
User :   he is dark
Doctor :  
you mean you meant he boy you love
User :   ya
Doctor :  
the physical features should not be considered
User :   he considered
Doctor :  
you convince your parents and get the things done
User :   actually my dad's frd was also wid him
Doctor :  
what about you
User :   he said u shud not give ur daughter in any case to this home
User :   i talked to my mom
Doctor :  
do you like the boy or the boy whom your parents have seen
User :   she said live single
User :   at any cost v wont get married u to dat boy
User :   c the boy whom i like is vry good at his heart
Doctor :   i can just tell you that you nned to convince your parents

User :   day r not getting ready
Doctor :  
and go for the boy you like
User :   dere was such a cse in my family
Doctor :  
you can ask the boy also to speak to your parents
User :   10 yrs hve passed
Doctor :  
or take a help of friend to convince your parents
User :   but my family n relatives doesnt talk to that girl till now
User :   i m introvert kind of person
User :   so i don hv such type of frd
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :  
since you are major you can take decision of getting married according to your wish
Doctor :  
Let the things settle, later agian you can start asking you parents
Doctor :  
if you ask now it will lead to heated arguments
User :   ya
Doctor :  
so let the things settle for some time,later you can get it done
User :   actually both of us fight a lot
Doctor :  
Is there any thing else I can help you with?


User :   after every 15 days this boy says i don want to marry u
User :   i used to get hurt a lot by this

User :   n started abusing me a lot
Doctor :   so first thing tat thing talk with the boy whthere he is serious with the relation
User :   he is serious
User :   he says he wants to get married wid me
Doctor :  
and if he is not interesting it is better to split and get married to the boy seen by your parents
User :   but after every 15 days he says like dis
User :   hmm
User :   he is in pune n i wont get any job there
User :   boy my parents hv seen
User :   when he started abusing me
User :   i met a boy
Doctor :   so you need to deci
User :   i started living happily
User :   i hv messed up my life
User :   but i want to marry da boy whom i love
Doctor :  
sit and ta
Doctor :  
sit and speak to your parents
Doctor :   it is ultimately your happiness
User :   i know
User :   but i m vry much confused
Doctor :  
do not get confused
Doctor :  
if the boy you like is good then go for that boy
User :   not on a single point i m clear
User :   he is good
User :   but somehow v fight a hell lot
User :   i m scared if after marraige he wil say after every 15 days get out of my home i want divorce
User :   wot wil i do
Doctor :  
and it is your futur
Doctor :   first thing you and your boy sitsit
Doctor :  
speak whther you people are really serious bout the relation
Doctor :  
give little time, think and then deicede
Doctor :  
after all you cannot cahnge any thing after mRRIEAGE
User :   ya
User :   actually he is in mumbai n i m in delhi
User :   dats also a prob
Doctor :   so better both you speak regarding this

User :   ya he comes every month
Doctor :  
I will suggest to take time, think over it
User :   k
Doctor :  
agin, give some time and think calmly
Doctor :  
and take decision carefully
User :   but he wants to get married by this november
Doctor :  
you ask your parents to give some time
User :   k
Doctor :  
then you need to discuss with him now itself and both yo
Doctor :  
and take decision
User :   k
Doctor :  
so talk to hime clearly whether he needs to get married to you and is he serious bout the realtion
User :   k
Doctor :  
Also ask him to tak to your parents and convince them
User :   he says dat he wants to get married to me
User :   perhaps i wil bhv like a daughter to his parents
Doctor :  
quarrel will be there between any body who reare in trea
User :   he doesnt want 2 listen a single word bout his parents
User :   i don say anything to his parents
User :   but he doesnt want dat i shud speak against dem in front of him
User :   whether day r right or wrong
Doctor :   so donot worry baout small quarrels
User :   k
User :   but on dis vry point he says i do not want to marry u
Doctor :   the small quarrels will be there that does not mean that he does not love you
Doctor :   are you there

Doctor :   are you there
Doctor :   are you there
Doctor :  
I have to close this window since there is no response from your side, we are available 24/7 please get back to us if you need further medical advice.
Doctor :   yes you can proceed
User :   ya doctor
User :   sry for inconvenience
User :   doctor i am very indecisive
Doctor :  
sorry for the inconvenience
User :   doc u der?
Doctor :   hello
User :   ya doctor
User :   doctor u hve talked me wot do u think wot kind of person i m
User :   ?
Doctor :   can u pls logout and login again in fresh browser..so that the doctor whom u chatted before will chat again....
User :   ya sure
Doctor :   thanx for ur cooperation
User :   welcome doc
Doctor :   have a nice day

User :   same to u
Doctor :   bye
User :   bye
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