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Ejaculate only during masturbution - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Men's Health
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2009
Answered : 612 Questions

User :   When ever I make love with my wife.. I am not able to release in the end...How ever I release when I masturbate.. is there any problem in me ??
Doctor :   hii
User :   Kindly advice
Doctor :  
let me read it please
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :  
May I ask you few questions to know about you? Please give your Age, Gender, Location, Occupation, Marital status
User :   i am 30 male, , service and Married 2 months back
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :  
do you have any acquired habits
Doctor :  
like smoking
User :   like ??
Doctor :  
or alcohol consumption?
User :   nope.. But I used to drink occasionally.. like once or twice in 10 days..
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :   do you face a problem to release your sperm while masturbating?
User :   nope..
Doctor :  
so you only face this while having sex with your partner?
User :   yes..
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :   it may be related to Psychological causes
Doctor :  
stress plays a vital role
Doctor :  
as while in stress a person is not relaxed and it might interfere with a persons normal activities

User :   hi
User :   u theree
Doctor :   yes
User :   are you the same person I was chatting earlier ?
Doctor :   have you followed what i have said uptil now?
User :   yes.. I do have stress
Doctor :  
ok
User :   so what else can be the reasons ??
Doctor :  
what is the stress related to?
User :   office work
Doctor :  
are you conscious about having intercourse with her?
User :   yes..
Doctor :  
are you worried about your performance in the intercourse?
Doctor :  
are you worried that you might not be able to satisfy her?
User :   no.. I enjoy the intercourse but yes.. I m not relaxed
Doctor :   i will need to ask you few more questions, can i proceed?
User :   I dont get these ideas in mind while having sex
User :   yes
Doctor :   ok, then that is fine
Doctor :  
is there any problem in achieving an erection?
User :   no
Doctor :   is there any problems in maintaining an erection?
User :   no
Doctor :  
once you are having your penis in erect state, how long can you maintain it?
Doctor :  
usually upto an average of 6 and 1/2 minutes is considered to be normal
User :   well.. I have never checked.. usually before marriage it used to be after masturbation,.. it gets small
Doctor :  
are you used to masturbating a lot?how often you used to masturbate before marriage and how often you masturbate now?
User :   yaa... i think its more than that.. once its erected and is hard
Doctor :   ok
User :   well.. before marriage its used to at least 2-3 times in 24 hrs.. after marriage its reduced quite a lot
Doctor :  
you feel relaxed after doing masturbation?
User :   yes..
Doctor :  
your problem seems to be related with masturbation
User :   ?
User :   couldnt get u ??
Doctor :  
i will need to ask few personal questions about your masturbation. can i proceed?
User :   yes
Doctor :  
in what way/position do you masturbate?
User :   mostly lying on the bed
Doctor :  
i mean to ask you that do you masturbate in sitting position with face down on your penis?
User :   nope..
Doctor :  
are you able to see the penis while masturbating is what i wanted to ask?
User :   yaa.. i am able to see...
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :  
so this can be a reason for this
Doctor :  
i will explain
Doctor :  
you used to do masturbation 2-3 times in 24 hours, as per your history told to me
User :   ya
Doctor :  
so this means that it was more than 14 times per week
User :   on an average ...
Doctor :  
and the position related to this leads to a condition
Doctor :  
which is like-a person gets habituated to see/look at what he is doing to achieve pleasure out of it
Doctor :  
since you used to do masturbation in face down position-that is to say that while looking at the penis
Doctor :  
it has lead to psychological setup in brain with visual stimulation necessary to feel relaxed and have an orgasm at the end of masturbation
Doctor :   which is not happening in actual sexual intercourse
Doctor :  
so in this case what is suggested are to follow these following tips
User :   i dont see the penis everytime.. when I m on bed.. I dont see it.. i see it when i m sitting on a chair ..
Doctor :  
and see if they help you out
Doctor :  
ok
User :   1 min
User :   i do masturbation mostly when I m on bed.. this happens mostly in early morning time..
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :  
see, it can be two reasons that i could arrive at
User :   or when I used to watch any movies while sitting in front of laptop.. in both the cases.. I dont see my penis.. however when i m doing in standing position.. then i see it
Doctor :  
1- stress related to office owrk
Doctor :  
2-the other part is the masturbation related
User :   masturbation related means ??
Doctor :   it means related to the position that masturbation is done
Doctor :  
it can either be realted to the fact that you see what u are doing
Doctor :  
or the position itself
Doctor :  
its mostly like lying on your back that you are used to doing masturbation
Doctor :  
whereas, in actual intercourse the body position changes
User :   yes.. thts true.. i mostly lie on my back
Doctor :  
so in few people this plays a major role if masturbation is done more often
Doctor :  
that they dont climax/or get orgasm at the end of the intercourse
Doctor :  
so for your case
Doctor :  
what i would recommend is
User :   so what is the solution ??
Doctor :  
1-stress management techniques
Doctor :  
such that your mind is stress free at the time you are in bed
Doctor :  
2-certain position techniques and intercourse related advises and tips that you can follow
Doctor :  
have you followed what i have said uptil now?
User :   ya.. i am following..
Doctor :  
shal i proceed?
User :   we have tried other positions also.. but it still the same.. but I think stress can be the reason
User :   1 more thing..
Doctor :  
sure, tell me
User :   when my partner releases pre maturely then my penis gradually becomes smaller .. is it normal ??
Doctor :  
when you stop stimulation to the penis, it will lose the erection
User :   ok ..
Doctor :  
and it can happen s;lowly if you have not reached your orgasm
Doctor :  
so it comes down/gets smaller slowly
User :   i c
User :   what is the normal time to reach the climax
User :   ?
Doctor :   the usual healthy time varies from 5 minutes to 20 minutes normally
User :   ok
Doctor :  
that is the normal healthy sexual intercourse, not under any influence of drugs
User :   ok
Doctor :  
that fact that our partner is able to achieve the orgasm and release tells that there is no problem in the erection time for you
Doctor :   however the problem that you are not able to release is of concern
Doctor :  
so for this
Doctor :  
you should follow the following things to manage stress
User :   but then after that I am not able to release..
User :   sure.. kindly tell
Doctor :  
1-identify causes that lead to stress, try avoid them and get solution for them
Doctor :  
1-leave office worries in office when you come out of office
Doctor :  
2- listen to soothing music, spend some time doing what you really like
Doctor :  
3- speak out to your spouse, open discussion solves and helps you solve problems that seem too big
User :   ok
Doctor :  
4-your partner is anyways satisfied, to enhance more satisfaction, indulge more into foreplay before going in for penetrative sex
Doctor :  
5- when masturbating, avoid lying down on your back
User :   so you mean.. there is no medical problem in me..
Doctor :  
do it is face-down positions to slowly train your mind to accept the body postures
Doctor :  
i dont think that any medical problem is related, its just about how your mind is tuned to having sexual pleasure over so many years
Doctor :  
and ofcourse it could be enhanced now due to stress form work
Doctor :  
and also teh fact that you cannot release
Doctor :  
so once your mind is tuned to certain body postures, it should be fine
Doctor :  
also try to have intercourse in positions that involve you lying down on your back
Doctor :  
also, the most important fact
Doctor :  
avoid masturbation as musch as possible
User :   ook
User :   why ?? if you dont mind my asking
Doctor :  
if you do need to do to facilitate release, then do it in face down positions, or being in a position that you normally and most often are while having intercourse with your wife
User :   ook
Doctor :  
it is just to train and tune your brain to allow you to have a release/reach orgasm over time each time you have an intercourse
Doctor :  
have you followed what i have said?
Doctor :  
are you there?
Doctor :  
have you folowed what i have said? please get back to me in case of having doubts
Doctor :  
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