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Disinterest in sex - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Sexual Problems
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2005
Answered : 2380 Questions
Doctor :   Hi
Doctor :  
How can I help you?
User :   Hi docs
Doctor :  

Doctor :  
Please proceed with your queries
User :   I am 29 years old and my wife is 25 years, we haev two kids and she is 4 months pregnant, the main conecern we both are facing are regarding teh Sex life as she is not showing intrest in Sex
Doctor :  
Ok
User :   What i can understand from teh r& D i have done on Internet is that she has a fear during intercourse
Doctor :  
ok
User :   we both a Lots of talks regarding the same but she is unable to tell what the problem is
User :   Pls Suggest
Doctor :  
Ok Since you already have children and she is able to have sex previously
Doctor :  
and could reproduce the fear about sex is a down factor
Doctor :  
Fear about sex is usually for people who are newly married
User :   ok
Doctor :   SInce how many months she is not interested in sex?
User :   Around 2 years or so, she just have sex for my sake but she never enjoys it.
Doctor :  
Were you sure that she was enjoying it prior to 2 years
User :   s
Doctor :  
Good
Doctor :  
Was she interested in having more children?
User :   It not like she does not want have children but both the times we were not expecting pregnancy as we missed out taking precautions.
User :   As of now she does not want to have moree kids
Doctor :  
Any abortions?
User :   No
Doctor :  
Did he ask you to use condoms or other birth control methods?
Doctor :  
she*
User :   yes
Doctor :  
Were you accepting and following that?
User :   but she does not want to use condoms as she suffers pian using Condoms
Doctor :   Ok
User :   We were using Condoms but she req to stop the same as she was having pain using it
Doctor :  
Did you ever consult a doctor for the pain during sex?
Doctor :   while using condoms?
User :   No
Doctor :  
Is that she is not experiencing pain without condom?
User :   Not that much
Doctor :  
Ok
Doctor :  
How are her menstrual periods?
User :   Normal
Doctor :  
Are they regular and normal flow?
User :   She has a time difference of around 1years after every delivery for statrting of periods
Doctor :   Does she have pain during periods?
User :   S
Doctor :  
Was she bleeding in between monthly periods?
User :   U mean during periods or between two periods
Doctor :   between periods
User :   No
Doctor :  
Ok
Doctor :  
Did she ever happen to say why is not interested in sex?
Doctor :  
she*
User :   She is not Sure abt the reason for the same
Doctor :  
Ok
Doctor :   IS there anything that you would like to say about your sexual life?
User :   didnt get u?
Doctor :  
Do you want to say anything important about your sexual life apart from the details you gave me till now?
User :   Well i want to have Lots of sex
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :  
That is natural
Doctor :  

From the detailed explanation, I could probably think of few reasons for the loss of sexual interest in your wife.
User :   k'
Doctor :  
1) Fear of pregnancy 2) Pain during sex 3) Increased physical and mental stress because of responsibility of two young kids
Doctor :  
THese certainly cannot be ruled out
User :   k
Doctor :  
taking care of kids is a major responsibility for any mother
Doctor :  
which takes a lot of stress on her physically and mentally
Doctor :  
She was asking you to use birth control methods
Doctor :  
to avoid pregnancy
Doctor :  
that denotes that she is not prepared for pregnancy
User :   k
Doctor :  
More over pregnancy back to back without a gap of 3 yrs
User :   Now why she has to fear for sex when she is alraedy pregnant
Doctor :  
is tough
Doctor :  
More problem comes during pregnancy
User :   k
Doctor :  
The women thinks to retain the pregnancy and most of them have myths that sex should not be performed during pregnancy
Doctor :   which is not true

Doctor :  
Pregnancy is a physical stress on her, more over there are two more kids whom she has to take care
Doctor :  
and by the end of the day she is so tired
Doctor :  
for this enjoyment
Doctor :  
Women still feel that rearing a child and protecting pregnancy is more importnat than having sex with the husband
User :   k
Doctor :  
Did you follow?
User :   but she is aware that we can have sex during pregnancy as we have last time had sex till 7 months and we used to go through web so the same
Doctor :  
Ok good that she is aware of
Doctor :  
but where is the time and energy at the end of the day?
Doctor :  
Moreover pain during sex
User :   k
Doctor :  
Is she following up with the doctor for her present pregnancy?
User :   s
Doctor :  
Did she say to the doctor that she has pain during sex
User :   last year she informed the same and the docs has given some gell at that time
Doctor :  
Pain during sex is not an enjoyment for them
User :   k
Doctor :   it is a nightmare

Doctor :  
So one has to check for the reason why
User :   hi i'm his wife shaista
Doctor :  
Yes
Doctor :  
Please continue
User :   one thing i'm not reaady for any pregnancy
User :   after having 2kids i got lot of health probs
Doctor :   Yes

User :   before this present pregnancy i told him that i wanna go for coperty or an family planning operation
Doctor :  
This is what I was telling your husband as the first point of avoiding sex, that is fear about pregnancy
Doctor :  
Yes you should make sure that he gets a vasectomy done
Doctor :  
which is simpler than tubectomy for women
Doctor :  
and it is just a 15 min pain less procedure
User :   k
Doctor :  
This simple step in yur family will avoid more mental pressures
Doctor :  
and your wife will be more willing to co operate
Doctor :  
after your kids are taken care
User :   and now during this pregnancy if we have sex she is suffering pain in lower abdomen
User :   every time she has sex she suffers pain alot
Doctor :  
This has to be immediately investigated
Doctor :  
That is why each prenatal visit to a doctor is getting tested
Doctor :  
about your own health problems along with seeing how the baby grows inside
Doctor :  
I suggest you to see the same doctor whom you are consulting for antenatal visits
Doctor :  
She will examine you properly
Doctor :  
and if needed an Ultrasound
User :   plz suggest some good lady sex therapist for the future reference
Doctor :  
Ok
User :   u there?
Doctor :  
yes
User :   k
Doctor :  
User :   k
Doctor :   10:30 am - 12:30 pm & 6:00 pm - 7:30 pm
Doctor :   She is basically a Psychiatrist
Doctor :  
but can give you sex counselling
User :   fine
Doctor :  
YYYY@YYYY
User :   k fine thanq for coming online chat with us
Doctor :   Please fill the feedback form say done when done.
Doctor :   Thanks for consulting us.
Doctor :  
Please get back to us for any medical queries
Doctor :  
bye for now.
User :   bye
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