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Difficulty in penetrative intercourse - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Sexual Problems
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2005
Answered : 2408 Questions
User :   Hello Doctor
I have a problem while having sex with my partner, can you help?
Doctor :   Hi
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :  
May I know your age?
User :   I am 29
Doctor :   Ok

User :   we are married for almost a year now
Doctor :  
What is the problem?
User :   and we have been having sex but non penetrative until now
User :   now we plan to become parents
Doctor :   Ok

User :   and when we try for an intercourse
User :   we are having problems during insertion
User :   when he tries to insert he finds it difficult to enter into my vagina
Doctor :   Ok

User :   I also feel pain and somehow we lose the fun of it
Doctor :  
Why dint you try for penetrative intercourse all these days?
User :   and the arousal is lost
User :   initially I somehow felt it would be painful
Doctor :  
ok
User :   and we had lots of fun with mutual masturbation
Doctor :   Ok

User :   so we used to just have foreplay and climax it with masturbation
Doctor :  
Ok
User :   but now when insertion happens we are not able to achieve the results
Doctor :  
What were you using for masturbation?
User :   I used to use carrot for inserting
Doctor :   Ok

User :   or rather he used it
Doctor :  
Were you having pain during that?
User :   there is not problem at that time
User :   i am able to maneouver it well to insert it completely.... as it is sharp and hard
User :   yes a little bit of pain
Doctor :   Ok

User :   but it was not much
User :   but when his penis comes in contact it is softer than the carrot and I am not able to guide him properly
Doctor :  
Now if you compare physically, is his penis size more than that of the carrot?
User :   its almost the same
Doctor :   Ok
User :   he tries hard to push it in..I feel the pain slightly...but i get blank after that not knowing what to do !
Doctor :   Ok

Doctor :  
I suggest you not try for full penetration as of now
User :   then we both lose the arousal and stop everything
Doctor :  
you should take some time
Doctor :  
this can happen due to 2 reasons
Doctor :  
one is the psychological fear
Doctor :  
next is the stimulation of the nerve endings in the vagina
User :   another issue is both of us are under pressure from our families to get kids ! and they suspect our fertility....which i doubt is a problem :(
Doctor :  
both leads to painful spams
Doctor :  
'spasms
Doctor :  
I can understand the pressure
Doctor :  
You just tell them, that you shall plan for kids after 3 months
Doctor :  
and you both have not tried to have kids till now
User :   ok
Doctor :  
I dont think so that shall ask you the reasons
Doctor :  
just tell them that you have not planned yet
Doctor :  
both together
User :   ok
User :   but how do we solve the issue ?
Doctor :   Meanwhile he should not try for full penetration

Doctor :  
let it be gradual
Doctor :  
just tip in the beginning
Doctor :  
and then more
Doctor :  
like that
Doctor :  
within 6-7 sessions
Doctor :  
you shall be able to achieve full penetration
User :   ok
User :   another related issue is his foreskin
Doctor :   Ok

User :   when he tries to push it in he retracts his foreskin
Doctor :  
right
User :   and when the insertion has problems he tells that the excitement is lost and his erection reduces
Doctor :   Ok

User :   is this normal or should he try differently?
Doctor :  
normal
Doctor :  
there is no alteration required
Doctor :  
for now no full penetration
Doctor :  
just as much as possible and stop
Doctor :  
later end it with masturbation
Doctor :   to increase the satisfaction
Doctor :  
or even masturbation is not required
User :   his penis after retraction a little spongy although erect and this makes me wonder how will it penetrate like the carrot
Doctor :   It can

Doctor :  
it should be guided
Doctor :  
Let him consult a Urologist
Doctor :  
if he still faces some issues
User :   when should he consult? I mean what exactly he should go and tell the urologist?
Doctor :  
If the urologist examines
Doctor :  
he shall come to know
Doctor :  
even without telling anything
Doctor :  
try to explain about the problem
Doctor :  
after retraction
Doctor :  
thats it
User :   ok..shoulld i do anything from my side...any excercise or try to use something else for penetration?
Doctor :   I hope there is no problem with lubrication

User :   no i can feel the lubrication
Doctor :  
Fine
Doctor :  
then nothing required
User :   also he says that there is lot of lubrication
Doctor :  
just start it gradually
Doctor :  
thats fine enough
User :   his fingers can be inserted without problems
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :  
first let him do with a condom initially
User :   the problem is with his penis , sometimes i feel it is too big, sometimes i feel it might not penetrate and so on...
Doctor :  
and see the difference
Doctor :  
with a condom
Doctor :  
it does not require retraction as well with the condom
User :   ok
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