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Depression due to marital problems - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Depression
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2005
Answered : 2408 Questions
Doctor :   Hi.
Doctor :   How can I help you?
User :   Hi, This is xxxxx
Doctor :   Hi.
User :   May i know who is at the other end ?
Doctor :   Dr. xxxxx
User :   Hi Doctor
Doctor :   Please go ahead with your query.
User :   I have recently married, and my husband is working as xxxxx
Doctor :   Ok.
User :   He is not interested in having sex with me
Doctor :   Ok.
Doctor :   Since when has this been happening?
User :   Actually, I got married in march of this year
User :   After marriage i has gone to onsite for 2 months
Doctor :   Ok.
User :   I was very eager to have sex with him as soon as he comes
Doctor :   Ok.
User :   but all the time is very busy, and not showing interest
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :   Was yours an arranged or love marriage?
User :   I feel very tensed because of his disinterest
Doctor :   Was your husband interested in the marriage?
User :   Arranged marriage
User :   Yes
Doctor :   Ok
User :   He use to talk to me very well
Doctor :   Was he fine initially?
User :   Very rare ....
Doctor :   Ok.
User :   That too, for my sake ...
Doctor :   Ok.
Doctor :   Did you try to communicate with him?
Doctor :   Did you ask him the reason for his indifference?
User :   It makes me very embarrassment
User :   How can i ask him ?
Doctor :   Ok.
Doctor :   Did he get a job change or a promotion or any additional responsibilities?
User :   He has been promoted as a Team Manager 2 weeks back
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   the most probable reason is stress and added responsibilities.
User :   Even i too think like that, that is why i do not ask him, but how long i can control my feeling
Doctor :   I suggest that you sit and talk to him. Ask him what is bothering him. Whether he has any tensions or anxiety.
Doctor :   Ask him if he finds anything wrong with you. Tell him that if there is any problem with you, you will rectify yourself.
User :   ok
Doctor :   Start the conversation that way. Then tell him about your love for him.
Doctor :   Tell him that you are missing spending time with him.
Doctor :   Try to get him to take a vacation and spend some quality time with him initially.
Doctor :   It need not be sex at first.
User :   We went to our honeymoon, 2 months back
Doctor :   A weekend would be fine.
Doctor :   Try to do something together, some activity not related to sex.
Doctor :   Once the rapport is established then you can may be bring up the topic.
User :   That time we were talking related to sex and we started almost, and we were removing our dress one by one
Doctor :   Once he understands your needs he would probably try to spend more time with you.
Doctor :   Ok.
User :   He just touched my parts and he left all of sudden
Doctor :   May be he is nervous about sex.
User :   i asked him that time
User :   he said nothing, and he slept
Doctor :   Ok.
Doctor :   Did you never have sex since the time you were together?
User :   I had the very first day, that is on our marriage day
Doctor :   oK
Doctor :   And after that?
User :   that is the last day i had sex with him
Doctor :   Ok.
Doctor :   He is probably nervous about the act itself rather than you.
Doctor :   I suggest that you try talking to him like I said. Establish a good rapport with him.
Doctor :   Once the rapport is established, then try explaining to him.
Doctor :   If he still refuses to communicate you can ask a neutral couple to intervene
User :   And sometimes he is asking me to sleep without wearing any dress along with him
Doctor :   Ok.
Doctor :   His main problem might be initiation.
Doctor :   If talking to him fails then I suggest that you should get a close relative to talk to him, someone trust worthy.
Doctor :   If even that fails then you should get the help of a marriage counsellor or a sexologist.
User :   That time he is touching my parts, and is doing some good things which i really love
Doctor :   Yes.
Doctor :   Communicating with him is the only way out.
User :   Ok ...Doctor, thank u so much ...
Doctor :   Please fill the feedback form say done when done
Doctor :   Have you filled the feedback form which I have sent?
Doctor :   are you there?
Doctor :   I have to close this chat window as you have moved out of the chat. Please log in again if you need further medical advice.
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