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Depression and loneliness in children - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Child Health
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2004
Answered : 1764 Questions
User :   my six year old just cried on my lap for 45 minutes. she could not find her picture album and it upset her. she said i may die someday and she will be lonly. she said sometimes she feels lonly and she said she doesnt have any friends and that all the kids at school are mean to her. she said she does not know what is going on it her life. she doesnt know if God made her or if i did. she said she does not know if she is an XXXXXXXX in heaven or on earth with me. is this normal
Doctor :   hi
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :  
please give me some time to read
Doctor :  
she is defineitely depressed
Doctor :  
the things she speaks is not normal for her age child
User :   this is the first time she has ever said anything like this before
Doctor :  
she needs a pediatric counsellor to help her out
Doctor :  
and come out of depression
User :   are you sure
Doctor :  
children normally dont speak vague things and things about death
Doctor :  
she is missing you a lot
Doctor :  
are you a working woman?
User :   actually i just started a new job and am away from her more. before i was only working while she was at school now i am not home until 2 hours after her
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :  
so this can be a major reason why she is feeling lonely
User :   yes, we were only ever apart when she was at school. now it is different. i take her to school but now her dad picks her up not me
Doctor :  
ok
User :   when i am home i try to spend quality time with her everyday but it seems we are very busy. she does piano on monday, dance on tuesday, i work until 7 on wed and thurs. plus she has a new student teacher at school
Doctor :  
she seems to be lonely and overworked
User :   she is very smart for her age. she is 6 but doing second grade work. she is in a private school with only 6 other children 5 of which are boys
Doctor :  
she has to be counselled to handle all this effectively
User :   but our schedule does not seem to be any busier than anyone elses
Doctor :  
sudden changes have made her feel these things
Doctor :  
she was used to spend time with you
Doctor :  
and now she is not seeing you that often plus the extra things she is doing
Doctor :  
and boys in that age are known to be mean and troubling other kids
Doctor :  
she is the only girl
Doctor :  
so she gets outed compared to them
User :   there is one other girl but that girls brother is also in the class
Doctor :  
ok
User :   what can i do to still keep her in her activities and still keep my job
Doctor :  
you can opt for the pediatric counselor
Doctor :  
who will advise her and
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how she can cope up with
Doctor :  
the problems around
Doctor :  
while you can continue with your job
User :   we were thinking of changing schools because we are not happy with the one she is in.
Doctor :  
because she is quite bright as you said
Doctor :  
so she will cope up with all these
Doctor :  
you can surely try and change school and see
Doctor :  
she will get new environment and friends
Doctor :  
but the lonliness that she is feeling
Doctor :  
due to you going for works
Doctor :  
has to be discussed with her and the counsellort
Doctor :  
to be able to make her understand that 'mumma is busy, that does not mean she doesnt love you'
Doctor :  
have you followed what i have said?
User :   yes but isnt is normal for children to have working parents
Doctor :   it is normal i agree
Doctor :  
but the way things have changed for your child has lead to all theseproblems
Doctor :  
so this has to be taken care of
Doctor :  
its not that she is not a normal kid, she is disturbed
Doctor :  
and needs help to come out of these problems?
Doctor :  
so one way is to talk to her personally
User :   should i just call her ped
Doctor :  
other way is to get a counselling done to guide her
Doctor :  
you could speak to her peadiatric
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and then get a counseling request made
Doctor :  
this common in few children to have these problem
User :   i just dont want her to have to have a counselor
Doctor :  
have you followed what have said?
User :   yea
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :  
so in that case, you can speak to her ped
Doctor :  
and see if she/he can do the job of
Doctor :  
speaking to her to find out
Doctor :  
whats going on in her mind and heart
Doctor :  
and then slowly advise her how to cope up things and
User :   do you think this can be solved and have no long term effects
Doctor :  
show her a way out to come to the light and understand the needs of yours.
Doctor :   no it will not have long term effects if tackled early
Doctor :  
if left alone for it to resolve, then we cannot predictaftereffects
Doctor :  
hence i suggested fro the counseling sessions
Doctor :  
*for
User :   what personally can i do
Doctor :  
personally you can speak to her more tenderly
Doctor :  
take her out, spend time, relax her
Doctor :  
do something special for her -eg small things like baking her fav.cookie
Doctor :  
it will help her to feel that she is not being ignored
Doctor :  
talk to her
User :   do you think if i do these things she will be better and not need a dr
Doctor :  
tell her why you needed to change job, and what is stopping you to spend time like before
Doctor :  
tell her that this too you are doing such that she has a nice future and that you love her
Doctor :  
these are few things than can mould her
Doctor :  
but she might need to be seen by a doctor to ascess how much deep she is into problems of depression
Doctor :   and then we can take necessary steps on how to cope up
Doctor :  
have you followed what have said?
Doctor :  
Is there any thing else I can help you with?
User :   should i try to do the things you said first and see how she responds and if she says anything again call the dr. or should i call the dr asap
Doctor :   its better to see dr first and simultaneously go about the above said suggestions
Doctor :  
do not ignore her symptoms
User :   ok
Doctor :  
Is there any thing else I can help you with?
User :   but this is the first
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :  
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