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Cure for depression in married life - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 21-Feb-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Depression
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2008
Answered : 3387 Questions
User :   hi gud eve
Doctor :   hello
Doctor :   i am Dr xxx here
User :   may i knw who is online plz
User :   great
Doctor :   please proceed with your query
User :   doc i have whole lot of issues lined up
User :   bt first i wud request u to tel me bout u
Doctor :   please go ahead
User :   where ru located
User :   ru a psychatrist
Doctor :   i am located in yyy
User :   i mean all details plz if u dont mind
Doctor :   I am a General Practitioner, I believe I can help you within my expertise
User :   i hope so
Doctor :   tell me whats bothering you
Doctor :   i am here to help you
User :   one more thing wht if we proceed with this n i try n speak to u more often
User :   whtr d chances tht i get in touch with u n not someone else whos is online
Doctor :   you can ask for me .. if i am not busy with some other patient i would be glad to talk to you again
User :   can we take this a step further n get in touch personally or on phone?
Doctor :   i am Dr xxx. and i am available at this time as per my duty schedule
User :   i am in zzz right now but wud b comng to yyy in nov
Doctor :   what ever you tell me will be under doctor patient confidentiality
User :   oh thats great
User :   that means we just dont end this here after this session
Doctor :   so dont worry
User :   i can stay in touch as long as required.....right
User :   thanks doc
Doctor :   right sure
Doctor :   no problem
User :   doc i am a 32 y old married women with hypothyroid..... i hav a fantastic family
User :   my dau is 3.5 yrs old n hubby is an air force pilot
Doctor :   ok go ahead
User :   we hav been married for 6 yrs now n planning to extend our family in nxt 6 mnths
Doctor :   ok
User :   now there is any issue ....that although we both r deeply in love no third person involved........ we stilll both going thru depression kind o f a stage
User :   which is affecting our normal married life to quite an extent
Doctor :   can you tell me more in detail whats bothering you
User :   ya.....
User :   he n me both had a bad relationship in d past
Doctor :   ok
User :   then we met n on very practical grounds got married not tht lovew mushy thing but we clicked like house on fire
User :   n he is a fantastic man
User :   we totally into each other
Doctor :   thats good
User :   but..... i dont knw how to say....... but our is a no sex marriage
User :   so much so that after only 2 mnths of my married life we started sleeping saperately
Doctor :   and may i ask why is that so ?
User :   no one knows
User :   i use to think tht coz i hav put on lot of wt n so has he shayad that was d issue
User :   but he tells me its not tht
Doctor :   are you not physically attracted to him?
User :   we hav started drinking regularly in d eve to stay normal.....which i think is just an excuse
User :   n we both knw it
User :   yes we both r to each otr
User :   i guess it is his working stress
Doctor :   yes thats just a way to run away from your problem s which is not a healthy
User :   he is a pilot n his life is his bird
Doctor :   i can understand
User :   but he has dev a severe back prob due to whic he is med dwn
User :   frm past one yr
User :   prior to tht
User :   he had fractured his third metacarpel in d rgt hand so was dwn for 1.5 yrs
Doctor :   ok
User :   i guess his carrier took a nose dive
Doctor :   how long have you been married?
User :   i dont knw if tht is d reason
User :   i concern is i can he he is severly depressed but i cant help him.....main kya karun?
User :   6 yrs
Doctor :   don't worry i am here to help you with your problem
Doctor :   so you would say you never had a satisfying sexual relationship with your husband ?
User :   he has fatty liver n his health is going dwn day by day he has suddenly started looking much older than his age
Doctor :   how old is he ?
User :   no not tht.....c tht is where it becomes so complicated
User :   33
Doctor :   tell me more so that i can understand your situation
User :   every time we make out he makes sure i finish...... i am soooo happy with him its just tht frequency of hanvg sex is nxt to zero more so frm past 1 yr
User :   no erectile dyfunction or anything
User :   i use to get fedup with him watching porn all d time
Doctor :   ok
User :   now for some reason he has stopped tht too frm past 6 mnths
User :   he masturbates regularly thats a habbit which i agree with
Doctor :   when was the last time you had sexual intercourse?
User :   coz he puts himself to slleep by tht
User :   in jan
Doctor :   i see
User :   he use to practice tht 3-4 times a day..... now he does it only shayad twicw a day
User :   or even lesser
User :   i am so upset
User :   coz thr is no other women ....nothing
Doctor :   i can understand the stress you are going thru at this moment of life
User :   he is fantastic in bed n absolutely healthy
User :   then wht????????????/
User :   i am so so so ....... confused
User :   we talked about it at leanght so many times
User :   he says he dosnt knw wht?
Doctor :   and have those talks help ?
User :   he requested me to lead him last night so i took this step of getting therapy sessions.....thts my last hope
User :   not much.....initiallly he use to go into a cocooon saying if i pressurerise him he cant perform
User :   this drama went on tilll aaa was born after 2 yrs
User :   after tht
User :   he says its his prob.....his fault..... n feels guily n sad which i can c
User :   we never hide anything frm each othr
User :   just tht he also dosnt knw whats happening
Doctor :   i see
User :   now wht??????????
Doctor :   well from what you have been telling me till now.. you do feel at times that its the job of his stress thats causing this problem .\
User :   i think so
User :   par pata nahin
Doctor :   and also tell me more about the drinking
User :   we drink 3 to 5 small in a day
User :   it started after all this happened
User :   i went into depression after i got married coz left work n all
User :   i am better now working again
User :   its was very situational
Doctor :   thats a good thing you have done . so tell me why were you not happy in the marriage ?
Doctor :   did any past relationships played any role ?
User :   he was in bbb i was in ccc whn left work felt bad after a while...... n all tht chaos happened then we went to ddd very small village......dead place
User :   sunsets at 5 in summers
User :   nothing i was hapy with the marriage but not working killed me
User :   i am a trainer..... was with convergyes gurgaon was earning hansome sal
User :   now suddenly sitting at home killed me
User :   u thr?
Doctor :   yes i am here
Doctor :   Dr xxx
User :   ab aap bolo mainey sab bata diya hai
User :   wht to do hai na complicated
Doctor :   i can see how the sudden change in your life routine has effected your life
Doctor :   affected 8
User :   he went to eee tdy for a course for a month ..... he hugged me n my garl so tight n has tears in his eyes cant bear to saty alone wants me to join his.....has hired a doulbe bed wala hope tht i will join him
Doctor :   so what do you feel right now ?
User :   he cant live without me i knw
User :   i love him to bits
User :   he is depressed n coz of him i am
User :   kya karun?
Doctor :   i can see there is a conflict in your mind
User :   we find solace in alcohol
User :   wht?
Doctor :   but alcohol is not the solution
Doctor :   you know that very well
User :   i knw neither is milk....ha ha
User :   SORRY..... i am just vry upset
Doctor :   no its ok .. humor is good
User :   :) thanks
Doctor :   tell me whats going thru your mind right now ? what do you feel ?
User :   ya one more thing he just enrolled us for club XXXXXXXX holidays for which we payng a tht we can reconnect physically n get our sanity back...... he gifetd me tht on my b day.....which was on 16th aug
User :   i feel lost n torn
User :   i cant live without him
Doctor :   happy belated baday
User :   i cant leave him
User :   but i cant continue like this...... he is soooooo unhappy with his life
Doctor :   so tell me whats your biggest concern ? do you feel are you losing him ?
User :   thanks doc that was sweet
User :   no......
User :   he is loosing himselfn fears that i might walk out on him
Doctor :   and why does he feels like that ?
User :   coz i fight with him
User :   had a row last night till 2:30...... about all this
Doctor :   what was the fight about ?
User :   he thinks he is not keeping me happy depriving me of wht i deserve n fears that i might just go one day
User :   same thing tht we dont do it often.....rather i was fighting poor chap kept sayng he has no clue
User :   which i believe
User :   he is very sensible matured n a balanced boy otherwise
User :   pata nahin yahan kyun he acts like this
User :   ru thr?
Doctor :   you both are undergoing stressful situations in your life
Doctor :   yes i am here
User :   ya
User :   wht nxt?
Doctor :   and you both have also tried talking to eachother with no avail
User :   yes 4 sure
Doctor :   tell me more about the fights you have ?
User :   i start by saying this we dont do it why..... he reacts then says sorry n he dosnt knw why
User :   bck to
Doctor :   and tell me about any past relationships that you feel might be affecting you
User :   he was a jerk
User :   cheated on me was a muslim......nothing at all really
User :   dont even think about it n so is it with my hubby
Doctor :   well i a glad you are out of that
Doctor :   and what about your husband?
User :   i told u we both into each othr tryng to figure out things but cant
User :   can we not talk
User :   i find this typng busness pretty slow sp. frm ur sorry but is takng a lot of time
User :   i can pay up whtever is d fee
Doctor :   you can put a request
Doctor :   for get a call
Doctor :   thats on our website
User :   ok can u tel me d site address plz
User :   u thr?
Doctor :   http://mmm/nnn
User :   thanks
User :   will i b able to talk to u?
Doctor :   yes i was giving you the link
User :   app ki shift kab tak hai?
User :   ok
Doctor :   i will be here
User :   i hav a frnd we has some issues also he is a trainer in my team
User :   i think he wud like to speak to u too
Doctor :   what would that about ?>?
User :   later will tel ya
User :   aap batao main kya karun?
User :   i feel no one has solution
Doctor :   ok sure you can call from the link i have given you
Doctor :   there is ALWAYS a solution to every prblem
User :   doc how ok is it to masturbate whn u hav a prtner
Doctor :   we just need to find the cause
Doctor :   masturbation is a healthy way and there is no way you should feel guilty about it in anyway
Doctor :   masturbation is ok even if you have a partner
Doctor :   nothing wrong with it
User :   no i dont pleasure myself its him
User :   he says its a habbit
User :   but not at d expense of sex
Doctor :   anything when done in excess is not healthy
User :   for men is it always very emotions attached kind of a thing
User :   he tells me its nothing
User :   but it use to disturb me tremendously
User :   even now
User :   i cry myself to sleep
User :   at times
User :   whn thisa gets over can i call u plz keep urself free
Doctor :   i can understand the emotional stress you are going thru and infact i am glad you are taking it out
Doctor :   its not healthy to bottle things in your heart
User :   not just that doc i myself take stress mangement classes but its out of my reach
User :   no i never bottled it up we r fantastic frnds if not anything else n he knws i am talking to u
Doctor :   the best help is first help and the most important is that you are doing it and you have understood that there is a problem
Doctor :   good transparency is a relationship is good
User :   :)
Doctor :   you have taken the first step
Doctor :   thats such a positive thing
User :   thanks but nothing seems to b moving
Doctor :   now lets talk about the present ...
User :   sure
User :   call me bck plz after this i am paying up
Doctor :   let me ask you one thing
Doctor :   are you drinking this moment ?
User :   yes
User :   3rd small of RC
User :   whn i dont drink i eat alprex prescribed by my doc two drinks i am allowed rest i fit in :)
Doctor :   ok and you do know thats not a solution right ?
User :   how cheap :)
User :   i knw
User :   but it just keeps my sanity alive....
Doctor :   listen fff alcohol is never the solution to any problem.
User :   i am sorry but i hav reached that stage tht where to get zonked out absolutely i hav to hav 5 to 6 large.......
User :   very un ethical i knw
Doctor :   thats why i am here to help you right ?
User :   doc i take anger n stress mangement classes i knw all d theory n i am gud with my work....... but i cant practice
User :   thats why i am here with u
User :   ya
Doctor :   i know you are a smart women who knows whats right from wrong
User :   alcohol wud go d moment my hubby comes bck to me
Doctor :   and we all go thru certain phases in life
Doctor :   and taking help is the right thing
User :   but confused ....i find solace in royal challange.... UB group ka busssiness is thriving..... all thanks to me :)
Doctor :   do you feel distant from him ?
User :   pun inteded
User :   nope
User :   he is vry affectinate
Doctor :   and how do you feel bout your relationship ?
User :   he is a great son,fan father n a wonderful frnd...... n willing hubby
User :   poor chap is stuck
User :   picture perfect for d world..... :)
Doctor :   but inside its a diff story
User :   i hope u will be here tonite
Doctor :   i am here to help you
User :   ya if u talk about d physical aspect
Doctor :   yes tell me
User :   will u only callbck?
Doctor :   yes i will
User :   ok tel me
Doctor :   sure
Doctor :   be open with your thoughts and share
User :   i hav sharted now u tel me
Doctor :   its good you have developed a good rapport , what would you like to know
User :   S O L U T I O N
Doctor :   sure
User :   wht?
User :   thats my story now u say
Doctor :   like i said the key to the solution lies in understand ing the situation ..
Doctor :   i am trying to help you by putting myself in your shoes to understand you better
Doctor :   you said about your feel that your weight might be a issue
User :   u understood wht i uderstood now wht?
User :   yes
Doctor :   why you feel that way?
Doctor :   bye for you and thank you for consulting me
Doctor :   hello
Doctor :   are you there ?
User :   HI
User :   I AM
User :   call bck on 9216357161
Doctor :   It seems you have moved out of the chat window. Please log in back if you have medical queries
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