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Counselling and handling sexual problems, extra marital affairs - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Mental Health
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2008
Answered : 3560 Questions
Hi
i need help my is sex related issue
Doctor :   Hi
User :   Hi
Doctor :  
How can I help you?
User :   Sir i have problem with my wife
Doctor :   Ok

User :   she had an affair
User :   when i got married
Doctor :  
Ok
User :   now she is not getting orgnism
Doctor :   Ok

User :   she behaves very roughly in sex
User :   we have 4 months baby also
Doctor :   Thats good

Doctor :  
So since when are you married?
User :   august 20th 2008
Doctor :   Ok

User :   she canot control anger
User :   she wants sex daily
Doctor :  
Ok
Doctor :  
Since when did she start complaining?
User :   even if the baby is crying she wants sex
User :   right from begining
User :   of the marriage
Doctor :  
Ok
User :   some times she gets satisfied
Doctor :  
Ok
User :   but she wants daily
User :   i get tired after heavy day work
User :   she will not allow me to sleep
User :   she turns on TV loudly and disturbs me
Doctor :  
Did she herself tell you that she had an affair?
User :   during the marriage one boy has called me
User :   and told that she loves some one
User :   how can u marry
Doctor :   Ok
User :   later my relaives talked to me
User :   he told that how can you marry some one who has slept with me
Doctor :   ok

User :   after 2 months
User :   she told that she knows that guy for 3 years
User :   he earlier helped her to get Job
Doctor :   Ok

Doctor :  
Is she working now?
User :   but some how the marriage didnot happen because of
User :   their boys side they didnot agree
User :   since the girls father is a denter
Doctor :   Ok

User :   i feel he enjoyed with her
User :   and now i am facing the problem with married life
Doctor :   Ok

Doctor :  
Does she work now?
User :   yes during marrige she was working
Doctor :   Ok

Doctor :  
and now
User :   immedaitely after knowing the issue i asked her to resign the JOb
Doctor :   Ok

User :   i never allowed her to work from day one
User :   after marrige
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :  
Does she complain about that?
User :   no she never complained about leaving Job after that
Doctor :   Fine

User :   except one or 2 times in 1.5 years
Doctor :   Ok

Doctor :  
thats not of concern
Doctor :   Who are all staying at home?
User :   i had to take first flight on 1st Feb
User :   took her and baby to Hyderbad
User :   she told that if she wants she can get satifaction some how or the other
User :   once
User :   she stays now iwth 4 her sisters
Doctor :   Ok

User :   her father and mother
User :   now
Doctor :   Is she not along with you now?

User :   she wants seperate house in Hyderabad
User :   she doesnot want to stay with any one
User :   she is not with me
User :   now
Doctor :  
Is this the reason for seperation?
Doctor :   meaning the sexual problem
User :   i feel that is the main reason
User :   she doesnot care any one
Doctor :   Ok

User :   she shouts at every one
Doctor :  
Before who all were staying at home?
User :   you before marraige or after marrige
Doctor :   After marriage

User :   she was alone
User :   i used to go to office
Doctor :  
Ok
User :   she was alone
Doctor :   Was she doing the household chores?
User :   hardly she was doing any work
Doctor :   Ok

User :   i had to keep servnats for each and every thing
Doctor :  
She needs a bit of counselling
Doctor :  
she has problems with the attitude
User :   i had to call all her relatives
Doctor :  
and that shall help
User :   and told them the issue
Doctor :  
it is a difficult condition to treat
User :   every told counselling
Doctor :  
how is her affection towards the baby?
User :   not much
Doctor :   Does she feed the child?

User :   she says she is not getting milk
User :   she wants non vegetarian every day twice
Doctor :   Ok
Doctor :  
A bit of aggressive behaviour I guess
User :   if i dnot bring she will go and get it
Doctor :  
Do not mind, does she have any affair right now?
User :   100%
User :   sorry 200%
Doctor :   Ok

Doctor :  
Because if that was not the case
Doctor :  
Is she in the same city now?
User :   si there a way to monitor if she has affair now
Doctor :  
meaning are you also in Hyderabad?
User :   she is Hyd and i am in Banglore
Doctor :   Ok

User :   i work in bangalore
Doctor :  
Was she having an affair here or there?
User :   in hyderabad
Doctor :   Ok

Doctor :  
How about in Bangalore?
Doctor :  
What do you say?
User :   i donot think she has in bangalore
User :   not sure
Doctor :  
Ok
Doctor :  
Is she reluctant to come back now?
User :   because i donot monitor
User :   is there a way to monitor what she is doing
User :   if she still has an affair
Doctor :   though it is out of my expertise

Doctor :  
as a general knowledge I shall tell you
Doctor :  
that there are many detective agencies to help you in that
User :   yes she doesnot want to come back
Doctor :   and you can always take their help

Doctor :  
because if that is not the case
Doctor :  
then you shall automatically develop more affection towards her
Doctor :   or else you shall know the truth

User :   how should i hire detective agencies
Doctor :  
You can browse for it
Doctor :  
and should contact one in hyderabad
User :   ok
Doctor :  
they might have branches here as well
Doctor :  
you can get it
Doctor :  
not a problem
User :   ok
Doctor :  
Also I would like you both to go for Couple therapy
User :   should i hire one
Doctor :  
or a Marital Counsellor
Doctor :  
both of you should go
Doctor :  
and if possible, then you can take her to a Psychiatrist
User :   should i go to Hyderabd
Doctor :   That is the negotiation you need to do
Doctor :  
and you can
Doctor :  
I need not guide in that
Doctor :  

Everyone on this planet are basically good, they develop these traits due to bad exposure
Doctor :  
and if they are made aware of their good nature
Doctor :   I am sure she shall tune herself
Doctor :   How are her parents? Does she value them?

User :   she will nver value her parents
Doctor :  
Ok
User :   she treats like ants to them
Doctor :  
Whom does she value?
User :   thats what i am searching
Doctor :  
like any celebrity, leader, gurus, etc
User :   basically she doesnot value any one
Doctor :  
Ok
User :   she values XXXXXXXX baba
User :   but he is God
Doctor :   Ok

Doctor :   Go to a counsellor together
Doctor :  
you will get suitable help
Doctor :  
and hope for the best

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