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Climaxing very soon, start-stop technique not working - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Good Posted in: Sexual Problems
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2009
Answered : 612 Questions
User :   Hi,
I am a 30 year old male, happily married for two years. Myself and my wife have had a satisfying sexual life over the years. The only problem has been that I reach orgasm within 2-3 minutes of starting the intercourse. I want to know a safe way of delaying the orgasm. I have read some material on the internet and tried the stop-start etc but have been scared of using any anesthetic. Can you suggest ways to delay the orgasm?

Thanks
Doctor :   hi
Doctor :  
ok
User :   Hi doctor
Doctor :  
the problem that you are facing is not uncommon, almost 80-85% of men face this problem in early married life
User :   ok..
Doctor :  
the most common cause is found as psychogenic by the researchers
Doctor :  
so just a bit of training and knowledge on the mechanism of orgasm will help you to
Doctor :  
have a better sexual life performance
User :   ok..
Doctor :  
what happens in male orgasm is, the blood flows into penis tissues and does not come back during sexual excitement
Doctor :  
which helps you in achieving and maintaining an erection
Doctor :  
this also depends on your mental state at that time
User :   ok
Doctor :  
if there is hesitation or apprehension regarding performance, then this problem of not being able to maintain erection for long time comes
Doctor :  
i will need to ask you few more questions here regarding your personal life to understand your problem better. can i proceed?
User :   no i dont have any problem with erection or perfromance. in fact have been quite happy. but just that the whole thing gets over in 2-3 mins
User :   sure
User :   pls go ahead
Doctor :  
is there any problem with achieving or maintaining erection?
User :   no. there is no problem in that.
Doctor :   do you get early morning or night time erections?
User :   not really. usually in time..
Doctor :   did you used to masturbate? if yes what was the frequency before and after marriage?
User :   i used to. once a week before i met my wife.. not after that
Doctor :   the normal healthy sexual intercourse can last from 2 minutes to 10 minutes, beyond this depends upon each partners understanding and ability
User :   ok..
Doctor :  
since you do not have any problems with erection
Doctor :  
it is possible to correct it throught the start and stop technique
User :   ok..
Doctor :  
do you feel stressed that you are not able to have a longer duration of intercourse?
Doctor :  
and thereby not able to satisfy your wife?
User :   no i dont.. but at times, it suddenly comes off and i feel i wish it could have gone longer..
Doctor :  
ok
User :   she is quite satisfied..
User :   on days when we have intercourse after a break, the orgasm occurs even fast.. less than 2 mins..
Doctor :  
i will try to explain in simple terms the correct technique of following the start and stop technique.
User :   ok..
Doctor :   and you will be able to see better results
Doctor :  
shall i proceed?
User :   yes please
Doctor :  
1) indulge more into foreplay.
Doctor :   2) measure your pleasure levels form the start of erection until you climax from 0-100% with 100 being the time you climax
User :   ok
Doctor :  
so now after this you will know to identify your pleasure levels and what causes you to reach that levels and teh sensation too
User :   ok
Doctor :  
3) now when you have done that, stop the penetrative sex, or slow down, indulge back into foreplay when you reach about 70-80% level
Doctor :  
such that you can delay the ejaculation
Doctor :  
and stil continue to have teh intercourse
User :   ok
Doctor :  
so now with that you will slowly come down to 50% level
User :   ok
Doctor :  
then resume back to what you would like to do
Doctor :  
and you can do this 3-4 times or longer
Doctor :  
untill you feel satisfied
Doctor :  
and then climax together
User :   ok
Doctor :  
so this will prolong the ejaculation time and help you to enjoy over a long period of time
Doctor :  
have you followed what i have said?
User :   yes.. kind of..
Doctor :  
ok
User :   do anesthetics help?
Doctor :  
and XXXXXXXX avoid taking alcohol and cigarette smoke
Doctor :  
it also causes erection problems
User :   ok
Doctor :  
no they will not help much, as the sexual intercourse has the brain also playing a role
Doctor :  
Is there any thing else I can help you with?
User :   yes one more..
Doctor :  
ok
Doctor :  
please proceed
User :   my wife doesnt climax with me.. i get her to climax before i penetrate by stoking her clitoris.. she gets to climax and then i penetrate.. she has never had an orgasm while doing an intercourse.. what should be done for her also to have an orgasm togehter?
Doctor :  
the same technique will help her also to climax together with you.
Doctor :   you can do the finger job in between when you practice the 'stop' part of the technique
Doctor :  
such that she too stays on the high level
Doctor :  
and climaxes with you in the end
User :   she says it pains if i put my finger in..
Doctor :  
for having a climax together both the couple needs to have good understanding
User :   ok
Doctor :  
if she gets pain, then do not overdo it
Doctor :   sex/intercourse should be pleasurable to both, not causing pain
Doctor :  
if the pain persist for her during the intercourse or after it
User :   ok..
Doctor :  
then she should consider a gynecology check-up
User :   actually she doesnt like either finger job or oral sex..
Doctor :  
to rule out ant pelvic infection
User :   she doesnt get pain after normal intercourse
Doctor :  
yes, many women dont like it as their mind set is different and they percieve it as something dirty.
Doctor :   so they try to avoid it
User :   shoud i put any greasing agent during a finger job?
Doctor :  
if you are interested in doing that, then it should not be done in dry conditions, it wil be painful for her
Doctor :  
lubrication is necessary
Doctor :  
if she is not getting naturaly 'wet' during that time, using your saliva to acomplish this is best
User :   ok
Doctor :  
else using lubricating creams/oil can be used
Doctor :  
for the same purpose.
User :   any recommendation of a lubcricant?
Doctor :  
simple home things like coconut oil, or olive can be used
User :   ok
Doctor :  
have you followed what i have said?
User :   one last qn.. i
User :   is it normal for my wife to climax through stoking of the clitoris?
Doctor :   Is there any other medical query I can help you with?
Doctor :  
yes it is normal, there is nothing wrong in it.
Doctor :  
clitoris is the one of the most sensitive part of woman's genitals
Doctor :  
Is there any other medical query I can help you with?
User :   anything else that can make her feel better?
Doctor :   follow the above said suggestion, over a month, you should be seeing diffrence if followed correctly
User :   okay.. thanks..
Doctor :  
for a more detailed discussion on this
Doctor :  
you can opt for a sexologist to answer you if the suggested measures do not help you
User :   okay.. thanks
Doctor :  
WWW.WWWW.WW Doctor :  
in this link you can ask for a sexologist appointment in case needed
User :   ok..
Doctor :  
Please fill the feedback form, and comment box, and say done when done.
Doctor :   Thanks for consulting HealthcareMagic. Bye for now. Please chat with our doctors 24/7 for medical queries. Please refer your friends to our service.
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