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Cause of absence of ejaculation - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 21-Feb-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Men's Health
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2008
Answered : 3390 Questions
User :   I have been dating a guy for 10 months now. He TRIES to have sex with me but his erection might last 10 - 15 mins but he NEVER ejaculates. I have tried multiple positions and he gets hard during oral sex but still relaxes after 10 mins, his refractory period last about 15 mins and then he can get up again to repeat the same pattern. What is wrong with him? I have given him Viagra 100mg to try and nothing changes..... What can I do to help him enjoy sex because I want to have sex with him all day and all night, he drives me crazy. I am trying not to let him know that bc I feel bad for him.
Doctor :   Hi
Doctor :   I am Dr. XXX
User :   hello
Doctor :   Let me read the query
Doctor :   give me a couple of minutes
User :   ok
Doctor :   So he has trouble ejaculating?
User :   he has trouble staying hard and trouble ejaculating
User :   i thought it was me at first but he assures me that its not
Doctor :   Hard for 10 to 15 minutes is very good
User :   he says that he can feel everything and its pleasurable
User :   thats good?
Doctor :   Yes
Doctor :   The average time is just 6 to 8 minutes
User :   ok then what do i need to do to help him ejaculate bc it seems unfair that i get off and he dont
Doctor :   What is his age ?
User :   hes 24
User :   i am 31
Doctor :   Since how long you are with him or know him?
User :   I only knew him for the 10 months
Doctor :   Did you ask him if he ever ejaculated?
User :   yes i have asked him
User :   he told me that he has once or twice before but that he suffers from ed
User :   he says he thinks it is because he takes xannax 4 times a day
Doctor :   Yeah
User :   he suffers from extremely high anxiety
Doctor :   I was just about to ask aboiut his medications
User :   he takes anti depressants that i dont know the name of and xannax
User :   i gave him viagra from a friends dad
User :   it was 100 mg and it didnt help
Doctor :   Ejaculation is a different problem, it is called dry orgasm
User :   everyone tells me that should have made a difference, that hes broken
Doctor :   It has different reasons
User :   okay so what do i do i about that to help him orgasm?
Doctor :   Viagra does not help in ejaculation
Doctor :   Dry orgasm usually isn't harmful, but dry orgasm can interfere with a man's ability to father a child.
Doctor :   They have the same pleasure
Doctor :   The ejaculation can be backward ( retrograde) into the bladder sometimes
Doctor :   So it could have happened in this guy's case
User :   He tells me that he likes oral sex alot so i have given him oral for 2 hours and still nothing
Doctor :   That is a preferential liking
User :   can that hurt him if its going to the bladder
Doctor :   and it is not related to ejaculation
Doctor :   No as I said it only has problem fathering a child
User :   do you think this is part of why he has trouble committing
User :   he tells me he doesnt know what he wants in life but knows he doesnt want anyone else
User :   its very confusing
Doctor :   It could be
Doctor :   a very good reason for promise
Doctor :   sorry not promising
User :   what do u suggest i do, to make him feel more at ease
User :   he stress out about having sex and says he knows he cant perform
User :   i love him anyway, i dont care but i want him to be satisfied
Doctor :   Get him to see a doctor / Urologist
Doctor :   You also have to step down your expectations for sometime
Doctor :   till the time he gets better
Doctor :   since you love him you have to sacrifice a bit and make him feel better
User :   i would sacrifice forever bc its him not sex that i lovve
User :   but as a man i figured maybe there was something i wasnt doing for him
Doctor :   You induce confidence in him that you are there for him
Doctor :   yes he has to ejaculate and his confidence grow
Doctor :   s
Doctor :   He can father a child
User :   okay anything i can do to help that while i try to get him to a urologist
User :   idk if he can but im going with no because he says he doesnt want kids
Doctor :   Actually abstain from sex for sometime and then see a URologist
User :   he knows i had a tubal so i cant have kids anyway
User :   i have one 10 year old and he has taken that fatherly role with him.
Doctor :   We also have to check if there is an ejaculatory ductal blockage
Doctor :   which is hindering his ejaculation
User :   i appreciate you help
Doctor :   So there are few different causes
Doctor :   along with medications
User :   ok i will give time thanks
User :   our time is almost up but you just saved our relationship i think
Doctor :   Thanks for consulting
Doctor :   Everyting will be alright
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