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Anxiety and depression due to problems at home affecting profession - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Very Good Posted in: Mental Health
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2004
Answered : 1659 Questions
User :   Dear User, You have started the test chat with our doctor. The duration of the test chat is 5 minutes. After the trial period, you will be redirected to the Payment page.
Doctor :   Hi
Doctor :   How can I help you
User :   hello doctor
User :   what speciality of doctor i am talking ot?
User :   i mean general practitioner ?
Doctor :   I am a General Practitioner, I believe I can help you within my expertise and If required I shall recommend a specialist.
User :   ok atually i was going through a lot of anxiety
Doctor :   since when are you suffering from this and
User :   and bouts of crying and helplessness, i saw this in my mail and wanted to give it a try
Doctor :   What are the features that you seem to be having as of now
User :   since past few weeks
Doctor :   ok
User :   i have become extremely fogetful( unlike me at all), like I keep something and when I look for it a few minutes back I donot remember where i kept . I always feel tearful
User :   i would say since september mid
User :   and am overreacting, getting very irritated and angry
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   Are you having any change in your work routine or any other familial problems that you are havinbg which is causing the stress in you
Doctor :   It seems our discussion will need more than 5 minutes. You will be taken to the payment page after 5 mins trial is over. After payment, you will be brought back to the chat from where you left it. I will be here to assist you.
Doctor :   You can continue with the chat after payment. It's a very nominal cost. You will be taken to the payment page after 5 mins trial is over. After payment, you will be brought back to the chat from where you left it. I will be here to assist you.
Doctor :   Are you with me XXXXXXXX ?User :   hello doctor i am back
Doctor :   ok
User :   in this chat can i not talk to a psychologist( not psychiatrist?)
Doctor :   We do have General Practisioner handling the Chat but if needed we can refer you to a Psychologist if you require that would be a real time consultation with the doc tor
User :   ok
User :   i could not see any psychologist on ur list only psychiatrists so i asked
Doctor :   If you wish you can continue with the chat i may be able to help you
User :   ok
User :   Actually i have been working for past 14 years out of which the last 10 have been in the software industry, and I have done quite ok, despite many adversities
User :   but i am not able to pick myself up this time
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   that is pretty much normal since few adverseities are always anticvipated
User :   i agree
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   So What is the issue that is bother ing you now
User :   i feel totally without any identity
User :   and i am not able to apply because i somehow cannot bring myself up to
User :   concoct a story, where as in the past I had been given very good referrals
Doctor :   did not get the last line that you have typed
User :   Though the boss said that the company does not have any more positions in india for your profile and let us know till when u can find a job, and I got no less tahn 3 months as per my choice i could not bring myself to apply even once
User :   yes i will explain, that is why i am typing. The real reason I got fired was because I ended up shouting at my boss
User :   Because after taking up the job and moving to xxxxxx, and waiting for 2 years I did not get the profile that was promised
Doctor :   Ah that is the last thing that you could think of doing you needed to keep your cool
User :   Now if i look for a job I have to tell some story right
User :   I cannot face that
Doctor :   None the less it is all over but nothing to be worried about
User :   See without a job, ... I feel so useless on the otehr hand I cannot apply
Doctor :   What is th reason that is witholding you ffomr applying
Doctor :   From applying to another job
User :   I am a graduate from xxxxxx have been a student and worker par excellence... because of raising a small daughter, who had been hospitalised several times during childhood( resulting in my taking leave without informing) with absolutely no support to raise her, I have done reasonably well within these parameters, however when i look on the whole
User :   many of my classmates whos skills I can compare with are way ahead
User :   or rather whom i can better...
User :   i was working within 2 kms of my home, daughters school
User :   and there were several times when i had to get my daughter to office, or go in the middle and come back late to work later
User :   after putting my daughter to sleep after my husband came home
Doctor :   Apologies me for asking but what is your Husband doing
User :   Now I have several fears
User :   he is in software ( but systems)
Doctor :   ok
User :   There is hardly any support from him, because of his job profile and also because of the way he has been reared
User :   I am very ambitious for my daughter
Doctor :   does he not take the responsibility of helping you with your Child
User :   and also like to see that she is getting all the needful in terms of exposure and education she is 5
Doctor :   You have the right to be for your Child
User :   see he helps
Doctor :   and that needs to be that way
User :   now a days but does not take responsibility
Doctor :   ok
User :   yes i agree i love her a lot and she has the potential which i want not to go away because of my job
User :   so u see a child with a maid is not my concept
User :   of rearing her
Doctor :   i would say that you carrying your Family to your work place has been the Cause of course it would be hard to separate both but the you need to draw the lines
User :   because what can maid provide...
Doctor :   and that is not with you having taken your Daughter to work but
Doctor :   the mind set that you have been to
User :   i did not understand
User :   please
Doctor :   ok
User :   explain your comment once more
Doctor :   What is that you would like me to elaborate on
User :   and that is not with you having taken your Daughter to work but the mind set that you have been to?
Doctor :   I would say that you have tried to take your family and office together and that has led to the misunderstanding that has led to the current situation that you have brought your self into
User :   can i do something
User :   See i work in mid/ sr management level
Doctor :   ok
User :   if the daycare closes at 7:00 and there is a meeting with my boss in US which i cannot
User :   circumvent( obviously it will be in evening)
User :   and if I have intimated planned
Doctor :   ok
User :   well in advance and noone is tehre for my daughter at that hour
User :   what can i do? short of bringing her to office and setting her up on a computer or asking a colleague
Doctor :   None mean when your daughter gets Back home is it
User :   exactly
Doctor :   ok
User :   now i am in home she comes to home
User :   from school otherwise i used to pick her have lunch with her and drop her to a daycare till 7
Doctor :   That is exactly what i was not relating to
User :   sometimes i had meetings after 7:00 or submissions once a week after 7:00 because we work with italy and US timi9ngs
Doctor :   since i meant that not taking your daughter to office would have been the trouble but having taken your family matters to your office your like there being no one wto take care of your daughter
Doctor :   and that has caused the mental trauma that you might have under gone
Doctor :   and hence the sequence of events there after
Doctor :   That is what i meant by taking your family to your office
User :   ok
Doctor :   Are you getting What i have said or tried to say
Doctor :   it was taking your Family issues to the office not your daughter
User :   u r saying that the worry that there is no one to take care of her was the reason
Doctor :   yes exactly that is the cause
User :   true
Doctor :   Now that you have known the cause i guess you would have known the best ways out of the same
Doctor :   you would not be needing any
Doctor :   Psychologist nor Psychiatrist
User :   Thanks. but no doctor i need some help in sorting out or rather thinking logically, now if i start fresh i have to workl hard to establish myself and again there is no one
Doctor :   but just time with your family and your loved once some understanding with them and that shall put every thing to rest
Doctor :   and do not worry about your Job there are many once waiting to take you up
User :   still to take care of her needs, I can keep a maid I kept before but that
Doctor :   House keeper would be the ideal person not the maid since they would be having a time lines
User :   can only feed and keep her company but no body will be there still to emotionally support or fall back on if the school closes early or the maid is absent and no one apart from me to see that my daughter is doing well in her studies is preparing and participating in extra curricular activities in her school
Doctor :   and better if your having a Family member at home like your relatives so that you are more comfortable
User :   That is exactly the problem
Doctor :   ok
User :   my parents are young and working up in the north( delhi)
User :   Sandeeps father is no more and mom is too old and too old fashioned
Doctor :   ok
User :   i mean though she now a days stays with us half the time , she does not and cannot take responsibility for my childs actions
User :   and does not control her watching tv, or take care of her feeding
User :   incidentally
Doctor :   ok
User :   my child is a very problem eater( all other things being good)
Doctor :   Better to get a house keeper and that shall be able to help you and your family
User :   she does not like junk food , but she does not eat rather she has to be fed and take 2 hrs ( 2 to 4) to finish her lunch of 2 rotis
User :   yes that i will try,
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   Good
User :   thanks the fact is i am not able to convince myself how to say
User :   why i left the job
User :   i want top blurt out that i was fired
User :   sorry typo
User :   i mean i want to blurt out that i was fired
Doctor :   There are many such situation in life that you will never be able to
Doctor :   reason and even trying to reason will not help so better left alone
Doctor :   and look out for the future
Doctor :   Please fill the feedback form say done when done
Doctor :   Have you filled the feedback form which I have sent?
User :   yes
User :   i did
User :   thansk a lot doctor
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   You are welcome
Doctor :   Bye for now
User :   bye
Doctor :   Bye take care
Doctor :   thing would settle down soon
Doctor :   It shall be fine
Doctor :   Bye
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