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Afraid of pain during sex - Online Doctor Chats

Date : 13-Jan-2012
User rating for this question
Excellent Posted in: General Health
Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2009
Answered : 594 Questions
User :   Hi
Doctor :   Hi
Doctor :  
How can i help you?
User :   I have some problem with my married life. I need some suggestion from you.
Doctor :  
yes i shall help you in this
Doctor :  
proceed with your quey
User :   It's more than a year now , but i am unable to make a intercourse with my wife as she is afraid of it .... I am very much depressed on this matter
Doctor :   why she is afraid of it?

User :   I am not sure , probably she is afraid of the pain during first intercource
User :   She always stops me from going forward...
Doctor :  
did you discuss with her regarding this?
Doctor :   have you asked her why she is afraid of the intercourse?
User :   yes , but she is only afraid of the pain ... She has abnormal thinking on it
Doctor :   may i know her age?
User :   24 yrs
Doctor :   the fact is it is not true that there will be pain during the first intercourse

User :   That i know , but she is not having any confidence of it
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :  
don't get depressed
Doctor :   try to find out how did she learn that there will be pain during the first intercourse
Doctor :  
who told her
Doctor :  
i guess it is her friends
User :   Yes i have found out that, she has told me that her married friends have told her
User :   about these
Doctor :   ok
Doctor :   now ask her only to find out whether her married friends are still virgin?
Doctor :  
did they not have intercourse?
Doctor :  
if so what precautions they adopted to avoid pain
User :   Yes they are having
Doctor :  
i know
Doctor :  
ask you wife to find out this
Doctor :   since the problem was from her friends it needs to be solved from them only
User :   She also tries to make an intercourse but she stops herself at the main time
Doctor :   yes
Doctor :   dont get depressed with this
Doctor :  
i shall suggest you some cream ok
User :   ok
Doctor :  
on applying it locally there will be no pain
Doctor :  
Doctor :  
applying it on her private parts before the act will not produce pain to her
User :   ok
Doctor :  
if that is not available
Doctor :  
you can use PRILOX GEL
User :   Is there any medicine which i can ask her to intake before the going for the intercourse so that she is out of the mental pressure which is having now?
Doctor :  
no nothing of that sort is available
Doctor :  
it is that mental block which is creating the trouble
User :   yes
User :   I just wanted her to overcome the mental block
User :   I have tried some times forcefully , but she starts screaming before doing anything
User :   I have heard that there are some medicines which arouses sex demand , Can you please suggest names of these if it is available?
Doctor :   it is all hearsay
Doctor :  
there is nothing like that
Doctor :   there is no medicine as such to increase the sexual drive
Doctor :   one more thing don't force her
Doctor :   this will strengthen her mental block
Doctor :   as i said it was the fear created by her friends,
Doctor :   she will listen more to her friends about this rather than you.
Doctor :  
so ask her to find out how did her friends overcome the initial fear or pain
User :   ok
Doctor :  
and tell her you also will follow the same method
Doctor :  
during that period you can use this prilox gel also
Doctor :  
so in this way you have to win her confidence as well has break the mental block.
User :   ok
User :   But her elder sister is insisting me to make it forcefully as she has a fear of breaking of the releationship
User :   I am not able decide what should i do now?
Doctor :   forcefully making it will worsen the condition
Doctor :   this is an act of mutual concent
User :   Yes
Doctor :  
any force here will cause undue bad impression and i fear she will carry that for the life
User :   Her sister is pointing me on my manhood...... This is making me more depressed.
Doctor :   who is she to point on your manhood?
Doctor :  
and why you entertain such people ?
Doctor :  
it is you and your wife and it is your family
Doctor :  
you know the fact and your wife does
User :   yea
Doctor :  
so you people sit and solve the matter
Doctor :  
putting blame is the not wise thing to do
User :   Yes , that's the better idea
Doctor :  
yes there is a problem with your wife,
Doctor :  
some time it does happen
Doctor :  
so it needs support
Doctor :   dont entertain such kind of comments any more
Doctor :  
it is more so depressing
Doctor :  
as i suggested try to convince your wife with the gel and be gentle in handling her
Doctor :   try with this for the next 2 weeks
Doctor :  
if you still fail to do so than she may require a professional help.
User :   How we can get any proffession help?
User :   proffesional help?
Doctor :   in this situation you may have to contact dermatologist, gynecologist and a psychiatrist
Doctor :   psychiatrist will be the person who will be of more help.
Doctor :   but it require the team of these doctors.
User :   ok
User :   Has these types of problem been resolved earlier?
Doctor :   yes very much
Doctor :  
actually this is a simple problem
Doctor :  
because of the stigma people don't approach the doctors and think it is a very big problem
User :   ok
User :   Thanks a lot doctor , I will try the steps provided by you ...
User :   Let's see how far i am able to make it success
Doctor :   as i said it is a simple problem, don't make it complicated and no intruders between you and your wife
Doctor :   wish you good luck
User :   Thanks a lot
Doctor :   thanks for consulting healthcare magic
User :   bye
Doctor :   bye foe now.
Question is related to
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