14 years old child with anxiety, nervousness and anger. Any problem? - Online Doctor Chats
Hi Doc, neede some advise on my 14 yr old daughter
Of late, actually last 6 months, she has become very nervous, unable to cope with her anxieities, unsettled, stubborn and tendency to cry
There seems a problem
It is not good for a 14 year old girl to be this way
Is she worried about studies?
yes, that's why i am worried
she is very worried about her academics at all toimes
In fact, she has developed a slight hunch in her posture also, which I think is on account of this nervousness only.
You need to support her now
Please make her calm down
yes, lead me he way
Sit and talk to her
Make her understand
You need to be more friendly with your daughter now rather than being a parent
i am worried abut her stooping so, it becomes very obvious when she is nervous.
Then some one else from outside is scaring her or making her feel guilty
Please talk to her friends and teachers as well
You should act fast now
Children do not open up later
You may XXXXXXX her teachers as well
Engage her in other activities
she is not very friendly with much children in this class as all her old friends are un diff sections
Many kids have this problem
Not to worry
With support they can cope up
she was doing some guitar classes, bt skips thm in times of exam
That is fine
Please speak to her as and when possible
Do not let her be alone
Do not make her study more also
It is as if she is competing with herself all the time, trying to excel in her studis
Engage her in other activities as well
Stude pressur is not from our end, it is arising out of hersel , as if she is trying to compete with herself.
No, she is trying to compete with someone in class
Spoke to her teachers, but they recommended that we send her to school counsellor for sessions, which a teenager will never go for
It is not that way, these days most students go to counselors
They like to discuss their problem with them
Please ask her to go for the sessions
She can speak openly there
she refuses, it think its an ego issue if one walks into the school counsellor's room
Probably, it is
Let me tell you this
As a mother, you are the best counsellor she can get
If you try, you can help her
yes, I observe that she listens to me
Please take her out to park, spend time alone with her
when I give her tips, she takes them
A mother and daughter relation is wonderful
She will learn from you
Slowly she will get to know all the good things in life
You have to be there for her
These kind of adjustment disorders, if not treated early, are XXXXXXX
Let her know that life is not all about studies
ok, yes, u can call it that
but studies is important
We need to get into their shoes and speak
Children get it better then
Don't lay rules
Feel free with her
she will do good soon
ok, but if I tell her to take a walk or a break, she wont listen and will not move away from her studies.
In such case, you should intentionally give her some work to do
May be, ask her to go and get clothes
Go to shop
I am worried about her stoop also.....she is quite tall ...actually 5'5 or so
You have another kid too?
yes, a younger son - 9 yrs
That is good
Don't make her feel that she is elder at home
that I do
The cause for stoop is low self esteem
You need to make her feel good
Then it would go away
ok, becos we hv a joint family
with my in laws
How do I make her feel good? In what way?
You need to appreciate the small things that she does
Children get more happiness in that
Appreciate whenever she studies
The efforts should be seen and spoken about
Get her small things that she likes
Be more open
Get her the clothes that she likes
As a concerned mother, I know, you can do pretty much for your daughter
yes, I just want her to react normally.
Of late she has also developed a habit -- she starts shaking her leg / legs if she is nervous, which I've read is not a healthy sign
She will be fine
What all do I need to do?
It may be the cause for shakiness
she is very thin also-- i forgot to mention, wud be around 38 kgs
It is fine, don't worry about that
I think she is norma;
Eventually she will put on weight
Is she menstruating?
HAd spoken to my ped also-- he had recommended some VitB test, am not sure on the name
Yes, you can get that done too
Is that all?
Do you have more queries?
ok, I think I will try on the line mentioned by you.
Thanks so much for ur patience
Thank you too
And take care of your daughter
Let me know the progress
Bye for now
yes, but how will u recall teh case the next time I login
You can ask for me in the beginning of the chat
I will surely remember because I feel you are a very concerned and beautiful mother
Oh thanks, that boosts my ego !!!
God bless you too
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