How to tackle premature ejaculation

Premature ejaculation is the most common sexual dysfunction in men below 40 years of age. In a survey, 75% of men reported having premature ejaculation at some point of time or another. Some studies say that almost every man will experience it at least once in his lifetime. It is more common in younger men, and has been seen to improve with age. However, some middle-aged men may also suffer from the problem.

What is premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation refers to a sexual disorder in which a man ejaculates either before penetration or too soon after it.

The time taken from insertion to ejaculation varies widely from one man to another. The preferred duration of sexual intercourse also differs from couple to couple. Hence, it is difficult to say what is “premature” or “too soon”. It is a subjective feeling which can be best defined as ejaculating before wanting to.

Researchers have tried to define premature ejaculation by considering the average time from insertion to ejaculation in 18 to 30 year old men as the standard. By this definition, ejaculation is considered premature if it occurs in less than 1.5 minutes after insertion.

However, it is important to note that if a man is satisfied with his sexual performance and does not feel a lack of control over his ejaculation, he cannot be considered to be suffering from premature ejaculation even if he ejaculates in less than 1.5 minutes.

Causes of premature ejaculation

Some common psychological factors leading to premature ejaculation are

• Stress or anxiety due to any reason
• Anxiety related to performance or partner
• Lack of sexual experience
• Increased excitation during foreplay
• Depression

Some common physical conditions leading to premature ejaculation are

• Increased penile sensitivity
• Abdominal or pelvic trauma/ surgery
• Prostatitis 

Treatment for premature ejaculation

Treatment of premature ejaculation involves behavioral change, psychological change, and also the use of drugs.

It is important that you understand all available treatment options and discuss them with your partner as well. Your doctor will also need to determine that you do not have any other medical problem that may be causing premature ejaculation.

It will be helpful if your partner can accompany you when you consult a doctor as partner’s participation and cooperation are important aspects of treatment.

Start-stop method

• The start-stop method works by making a man more conscious of his sensations as he is approaching orgasm
• His partner manually stimulates his penis while he focuses on his sensations. When he feels that he is about to orgasm, he asks his partner to stop the stimulation. Once the phase of extreme sexual excitement  is over, the partner starts the stimulation again
• With practice a point is reached where manual stimulation does not lead to uncontrolled ejaculation

Squeeze technique

• To use this technique, the female partner should manually stimulate the penis, but stop when the man is very excited and about to ejaculate
• Now she should apply a firm squeeze lasting 3 or 4 seconds just under the glans, with the thumb on the ridge between the head and shaft and keeping the first two fingers on either side of the ridge opposite the thumb. The squeeze should be hard enough to cause some discomfort but should not be painful. This squeeze stops the desire to ejaculate.
• Practicing this technique several times during genital stimulation can help develop control on premature ejaculation during foreplay
• Once mastered, the couple can use this method during intercourse. To do this the penis should be inserted with the female-on-top position, but no movements made. When the man has a desire to ejaculate, the penis should be withdrawn and a squeeze applied. Repeating this technique over time gives control on premature ejaculation during intercourse
• This method is effective, but mastering it takes time and requires a cooperative partner

Desensitizing creams for premature ejaculation

Some creams can be used to desensitize the end of the penis. Discuss with your doctor what may be a good cream for you. These are safe to use as long as you are not allergic to any ingredient.

Distraction technique to prevent premature ejaculation

This is a simple technique that can help men who have a milder problem. When you are fully aroused and feel that you are going to orgasm, take a deep breath and think about something dull and boring. When your arousal level comes down but your erection is maintained, you can continue.

Masturbation to prevent premature ejaculation

• If you are young and do not experience any problem in achieving erection, you may find that masturbating shortly before you plan to have sex helps you avoid uncontrolled ejaculation
• This method is not advisable if you feel you may not be able attain a second erection soon after masturbation, which is often the case with older men

Consider wearing a condom

Since wearing a condom somewhat diminishes sensations during sex, it may be helpful in men who feel that they get too aroused too soon and therefore have premature ejaculation. It is a safe and simple method that you can try and see if it helps you.

Premature ejaculation fact book

Myth: If I come in a few minutes, I am suffering from premature ejaculation

Fact: This is absolutely not true because it is not the duration that matters. If you and your partner are satisfied there is no need to worry at all.

Myth: It is a rare condition that only I have. None of my friends will know anything about it.

Fact: Premature ejaculation is a very common condition that affects a large number of men. Since most men are too embarrassed to talk about it in their friend circle, everyone ends up thinking that he is the only one suffering.

Myth: It is an inherent defect. If I have it, I have it. No one can do anything much about it.

Fact: Premature ejaculation is not an inherent defect. It is not that some men are born with the ability to make it last as long as they want. With adequate help you can overcome this problem.

Myth: Reducing my interest in sex will help me control myself better.

Fact: This approach may prove to be counterproductive. Treatment of your condition needs you and your partner to be very motivated to improve your sex life.

Myth: There is no treatment for my condition. I can never have a completely normal sex life.

Fact: Although there are no approved drugs for treating premature ejaculation, the techniques described above have helped a large number of men. Many men are able to exercise complete control over their ejaculation with the right guidance. Some medicines that are generally used to treat depression have also been found helpful, but you should take them only under proper medical guidance.

Myth: The roadside medicines contain secret ingredients known to tribal communities and are actually helpful.

Fact: Never buy medicines from unauthorized places or vendors. It is just not safe as no one regulates what they are selling. It may contain harmful substances that can adversely affect other aspects of your health.